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K @ GGB

K @ GGB
A Bridge Too Cool

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Friday, January 7, 2011

♫ It's just another day... ♫

♫ Every day she takes her morning bath, she wets her hair, wraps a towel around her as she heads towards the bedroom chair.... ♫ 

I kinda doubt Paul McCartney, after fame and fortune came his way, had very many "routine" days, but when he did, I'm sure he didn't take them for granted.  Not that I'm comparing my life to his, or anyone in the "celebrity world", not at all.  But anyway, yeah...another "routine" day here today, nothing special.  I did go out for groceries, which is yes, a "routine" thing to do....but, not quite, really, at least for someone like me, at this time in my life I should say.  Yes, I am trying my best to live "full time"...though, I've yet to get "signed off" by a therapist, and have that special document in my possession(I know, I'm not following the "routine procedures" with transitioning, but eventually I'll get my pegs in the right holes...I mean, you know ;) ), and, I think that so far, for the most part, I'm doing "okay".  So, when I do go out, anyplace really, I do feel confident, and that confidence does seem to be growing every time I do go out, thankfully(and thankfully, I haven't, yet, had any really "negative" times, or incidents...well, ok, once on the BART train, with some barely teenage girls(I'm sure you'd understand), but other than that time....).  But at the same time, I am careful, where I go, and when.  I just don't want to, at least not yet, take anything for granted, at least not until I'm much further along with my transitioning, and I try to keep that in mind also, every time I'm out.  And yes, I know there are probably some, maybe many whom I have contact with, or even those who view me at a distance, who might have "figured me out", or at least have suspicions....and, that's okay, I can deal with that.  All I am trying to do is be Kelli, as best I can, wherever I go, and this is who I am, and always will be, now and forever, and just knowing that, having that inner confidence(still growing, still not where I want it to be), can only help with my "outer confidence".  So yeah, not quite "another day", but, someday, someday....

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Voices of the past....

Hi everyone, me again. :-)  I just came across this interesting, eclectic list of "25 Best Voices in Sports" ....and not exactly the list I would make, but anyway....  (And, I read that Ted Williams...you know, this Ted Williams, has possibly been hired, good for him!)  My favorite sport announcer ever was, probably, Jack Buck, long time Cardinals announcer.  Possibly his most famous call was Ozzie Smith's game winning home run in game 6 of the 1985 NL playoffs: "Go Crazy, Folks!!" , but just as memorable for me, is the speech he made at Busch Stadium, not long after the attacks of September 11, 2001:  Jack Buck 9/11 poem.  Many others were fun to listen to, Harry Carry, his son Skip Carry, Mike Shannon, Dick Enberg, many others...and yes, even Dick "Dipsy-doo Dunkeroo" Vitale. ;-)  Sports has always been important to me, especially in the "old days", and maybe too much sometimes...but maybe that was my way of "being a man", when I was a very confused person.  Not to say I'm "unconfused" now, just much less so. ;-)  Anyway, enjoy the videos! 

An amazing site, I've never seen

Hi everyone! :-)  Earlier today, I watched a fascinating video(3 parts) on the building of the Empire State Building.  It would be interesting to know how many Americans(the U.S. variety) have seen in person, or been inside of this amazing feat of American ingenuity, muscle(literally!) and yes, power.  I haven't been there yet, nor to New York City, but it is a definite goal!  I noticed in parts of the videos, the World Trade Center in the background...hard to believe it will be 10 years this September. 

Anyway, thanks for stopping by!  It's nice to be blogging again! ♥

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Here come da judge!

Last night, another wonderful, and positive step forward was made, for our(transgender) community, and I believe, at least eventually, the nation as a whole, as Judge Victoria Kolakowski, was sworn in as the new Superior Court judge of Alameda County, CA, and the first transgender elected as a trial judge in the U.S.  I mean, YES!!  I'll let the more learned of you out there explain how HUGE this is to others outside of our community....and, although of course, her physical appearance truly doesn't matter, or shouldn't of course, but hey, she looks like, well, like a judge "should" look like, you know.  ;-)  I "wink" there, since, well, there are still many in the country, and the world, who, when they think of, or hear about someone who is transgender, and they picture in their minds the usual stereotypical trans-oriented person(from the MTF perspective at least)...you know what I mean(sigh)...but she "looks the part" of a typical middle-age woman, who just happens to now hold a very important position in the justice system.  So, I think this is a "win-win", but of course her performance will be the eventual judge(pardon the pun).  Oh, and btw, I was there, where the ceremony was held...but darn the luck(and also my misjudging(hehe) of time, sigh), I missed the actual swearing in(while swearing at myself), but that's okay, what's important is what happened there, and I wish Judge Kolokowski ALL the best!!  And, she'll be another person of "T", who should inspire me(I mean, "Helloooo Kelli!!") to do better things...as long as I can keep order in my own courtroom("head") in tact.  Tall order there(well, I am tall!). ;-)

I hope it's okay, being that the subject of this blog is, well, quite serious and profound, that I also add a few sprinkles of levity...I tend to do that a bit too much in my life, but it's one of the things that's helped keep me "sane", whatever that means.  Anyway, since I titled this blog "Here Come da Judge", it made me, of course, think of that phrase, when I first heard it...and, as time usually does(for me at least), I had thought that Flip Wilson had, at least first, made that a popular phrase on television back in the late '60's/early '70's, but it was actually Sammy Davis, Jr., appearing on Laugh-In....and, then, after a bit of sleuthin', I read that Dewey "Pigmeat" Markham originated that phrase, and, Mr. Markham later appeared on that program...though I haven't found any video of him doing that phrase on there, I did find this lil snippet from "L-I"...wow, that show was wacky, I still miss it!  And, here's the amazing Flip Wilson, in a classic "Geraldine" skit, with the uber cute(though banged up--that guy really paid the price over the years from his football career, among thousands of others....and of which I believe is part of the upcoming NFL "showdown" with the owners and players) Joe Willie...and if there is a "crossdresser hall-of-fame", Flip better have been one of the first inductees! ;)  Oh, and here is one more "judge related" video ...wow, I've rarely seen original Stooges shorts in color, very cool!

So anyway, until my next "session"....please behave everyone...and don't judge a girl by her cover. .  It's not nice! ☺

Monday, January 3, 2011

Looking back, Moving forward

Good morning!  I say that, believing there are other people reading this...and I'm sure that's possible, being that this blog is "public", and although I do hope some friends, and "newbies" stop by once in awhile, and if what I write/type here is of some benefit to someone else, that would be wonderful!  But mainly I decided to get back into "the blogging business" for my own "well being", and now, even though I've published, once in awhile over the past couple of years a few blogs pertaining to my life and what's been going on with me, I do kinda regret not being consistent with doing it.  Maybe I'll post some of those in the next few weeks, but anyway I was thinking about something yesterday, being it's the new year, 2011, a new decade, and just the idea of "time" and "age", and how(as if it wasn't before anyway, doh!) the "clock is ticking", with me, now that I'm just past a half-century on the big blue ball, or, orb(I probably shouldn't use the word "ball" too often, giggles. ;) ), and it's not like I dwell on it, but with all that I plan to do in my life, especially over the next few years, it does make me think about time, and that I don't want to waste it.  Of course, some may call blogging a waste of time...I don't, but, you know, that's how it is.  So, as I was thinking about all of this, I came across this story: Woman among oldest in the world, dies. 
You can just imagine the amazing life she lived, and the stories...well, I hope she kept, or someone close to her kept some type of diary...and, that's pretty much why I am doing this, again, to have at least some type of record of my life, if only for me, that's fine too.  I don't, not yet anyway(whew, I better, if I decide to do such a thing, get on the "____"(rhymes with "doll")!!, have any children, so there's really no one to "pass this down" to, other than friends, which would be nice too of course, but yeah, a spouse/significant other, or a child...but anyway I'm getting WAY ahead of myself, and a bit maudlin. so I'll stop now, and just say--it's a time to reflect, on my past, and try to record it in some way...but it's also time to move forward, and as I believe Capt. Kirk said once: "See what's out there."  I think I will do just that! :-)

Thank you for listening.  Have a lovely day!  Or, night. :-) (Hugs)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

♫ I can drive for miles and miles and miles and.... ♫

Okay, so I began 2011 on the road...well, not literally, but I was driving my car to a party, but by the time I arrived, no one was there...maybe they didn't have it in the first place, but that's alright.  I spent a lot of time in my car in 2010.  I had moved in with my boyfriend(and sometimes, girlfriend--she's TG, but likes her guy side more--it's complicated, she's complicated, I'M complicated, our relationship....but overall it was wonderful, and in some ways, even though we don't live together anymore, is still pretty strong....well, not as strong as before...like I said it's complicated, but a good kinda complicated! :D) just a couple of weeks before, after selling our(my former spouses' and mine) home(another "complicated" story, maybe for another blogeth), and his home is located about 72 miles from where I was employed, back in my home town, and I still planned to work there for awhile, so I commuted, for about 5 months(until I moved out--yes, another complicated story--well, not to me though :D), and I believe I put around 15-16K on the old jalopy(it had 170K when I started doing the commute), which I believe meant around 225 or so hours sitting in the car, groovin' to tunes, munching on snacks, texting of course(no no, not really...well maybe once :-p), excetera, exceteraaaa.  And, after moving back to my home area, with a friend from work, who lived only 10 miles from the factory, that put a few more miles over the next couple of months.  And, almost every weekend I drove back up to my b/f's place.  Then, in September, I loaded up the "Ferrari" andI moved to the magic kingdom of California...no cement pond where I live though, what's up with that??....and that put on about 3K more--now it has 204K, a first for me!  Something odd has happened lately though--every time it rains, somehow/somewhere(I haven't been able to find where yet), water is getting inside, and mostly into the wheel well(it's a hatchback/station wagon--yep, the only Ferrari made that way :D), and when I returned from a recent 2 week vacation, with a friend(in her car), the well was full, yay! :-(  Yeah, another complicated story, sigh.  So, anyway, that old car and I spent a lot of time together in 2010.  Or, that old woman and that old car...okay, I'm not that old, but I am now living in an 'adult'/retirement community(yep, another "c" story! ;) )...weird seeing people drive golf carts on public(within the community) streets, but it's cool, and my wonderful new roommate is very cool too!  She's not actually retired, she works part-time as a caregiver, in that person's home(something I believe I could do, for awhile anyway), but ever since arriving here, she's called her home, "our" home, and she's made me feel welcome, not only in that way, but also in that she accepts "me", for who I am and with all the changes I plan on making to make myself "whole".  Ooops, I guess I got a bit off point there, but yeah, now that I'm out here, I'm putting more miles on da car.  Maybe with the new year, new decade, it's time to get a "new" car?  I hope so...yeah, I'll miss it, lots of good memories there, especially with my former spouse(NOT for another blog, some things need to stay private! ;) ), and also a connection with my dad.  I can see the car outside the living room window here now...and, it's gonna rain some more today, oh nooooo!!  Looks like another shop-vac moment. :-\  At least the tape player(I'm old skool ;) ) still works!

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I used to blog, semi-often, on Yahoo 360, and I had fun times there with that, and even more from reading other girls' blogs, and making friends there(some whom I've now met in RE-ull life! :-) )  Maybe that will also work out here, as I get back on the blog-wagon.  I haven't blogged much over the past couple of years.  It wasn't the best of times, especially earlier then, and I guess I just didn't want to type out what was going on then(out of type, out of mind?)...but now, I kinda regret not keeping a journal of some kind, at least on a consistent basis.  But hey, I survived, I'm still standing( ♫ ...better than I ever did... ♫ ), and now with the new year, and, in many ways, a new life, to live and to embrace, I think it's best I keep some type of record about my life, if only for my own benefit.  If others want to know what's going on with me, that's great, I welcome you!  And really, for me anyway, I do really need others, not only because friends and friendships are what they are, but I do know that I wouldn't be here typing this, if I hadn't had the friends I've had ever since coming out to the world, first online, and now everywhere.  I thank YOU, for helping me be ME, and still be around to be me.  That's not very complicated. :-)


P.S.:  This blog page is a work in progress, and I'm not, yet, very adept with all the watchamacallits and thingamabobs with posting pages here, so please bare with me.  Yeah, it's kinda complicated. ;-)