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A Bridge Too Cool

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Friday, January 7, 2011

♫ It's just another day... ♫

♫ Every day she takes her morning bath, she wets her hair, wraps a towel around her as she heads towards the bedroom chair.... ♫ 

I kinda doubt Paul McCartney, after fame and fortune came his way, had very many "routine" days, but when he did, I'm sure he didn't take them for granted.  Not that I'm comparing my life to his, or anyone in the "celebrity world", not at all.  But anyway, yeah...another "routine" day here today, nothing special.  I did go out for groceries, which is yes, a "routine" thing to do....but, not quite, really, at least for someone like me, at this time in my life I should say.  Yes, I am trying my best to live "full time"...though, I've yet to get "signed off" by a therapist, and have that special document in my possession(I know, I'm not following the "routine procedures" with transitioning, but eventually I'll get my pegs in the right holes...I mean, you know ;) ), and, I think that so far, for the most part, I'm doing "okay".  So, when I do go out, anyplace really, I do feel confident, and that confidence does seem to be growing every time I do go out, thankfully(and thankfully, I haven't, yet, had any really "negative" times, or incidents...well, ok, once on the BART train, with some barely teenage girls(I'm sure you'd understand), but other than that time....).  But at the same time, I am careful, where I go, and when.  I just don't want to, at least not yet, take anything for granted, at least not until I'm much further along with my transitioning, and I try to keep that in mind also, every time I'm out.  And yes, I know there are probably some, maybe many whom I have contact with, or even those who view me at a distance, who might have "figured me out", or at least have suspicions....and, that's okay, I can deal with that.  All I am trying to do is be Kelli, as best I can, wherever I go, and this is who I am, and always will be, now and forever, and just knowing that, having that inner confidence(still growing, still not where I want it to be), can only help with my "outer confidence".  So yeah, not quite "another day", but, someday, someday....

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