Timing("it's all in the....)

Timing is "Everything", some say.; And, in many cases, it's probably true.; This "timing" can mean many things, from the happiest, most positive thing in one's life, to the deepest darkest worst moment. I place the timing of meeting Andy, my current boyfriend/girlfriend(I'll explain in a moment) in, easily, the top 5% of the "positive" in my life, so far, and in some ways he's the reason I am here now, in California, and not still with him, back in Illinois.;) 

Well, ya see.... We first met at a Tri-Ess/TG group meeting in Springfield, IL, in March of 2009, ironically the day after my(and my former spouse of course) divorce became final...weird coincidence, I know...and, believe it or not, but at that time, starting up a new relationship, other than friendships, was not at all on my radar(or "t-dar", giggles)...I mean, I was, to say the least, depressed, or if not depressed I was quite sad and blue, about how my life was going then(spiraling dowwwwnnnn...), and for 2 reasons I felt I needed to attend this meeting One, because I'd never been to any type of transgender meeting before...I'd wanted to for quite awhile, but for various reasons it had never worked out...and two, I just felt it might help, with how I was feeling about myself and the world then, to be with and talk with others...and though, as it turned out, I didn't end up saying too much about how low I was feeling(I probably should have seeked out professional help, but I thought I could deal with it myself, and for the most part, thankfully, I did), being there with them DID help, at least some. Stop the, "presses"!! I just, well "remembered" something, about the timeline here--yeah, I know, this only means something to me, but anyway, I just went back in time a bit to read an e-mail that I wrote to the leader of this group(see below), about attending and such....and, I had forgot this part(I think I know why), but that morning I took my then wife, to a leukemia patient(she had leukemia the year before...long story(and another blog), she's good now, for over 2 1/2 years now, thankfully!) support group meeting in West St. Louis County, and while she was there...ooooh this is getting weird, I'm remembering things right now that I haven't thought about for a long time, probably since that day, scary!...and she thought it best I didn't go in with her(a good idea actually), so I drove around a bit...oh my, all these memories are now coming back!! Well anyway, this time with her, as it ended up, was our last time together, at least in the amount of time spent together, away from home....wow, I guess I really did suppress that day, or that part of the day for sure, until now, almost 2 years later! Say, maybe I don't need therapy, I can do this stuff on my own! See, it's good to be blogging again! :-) So, after having a nice time with the girls there, enjoying a pot luck(usually a "pot unluck" for me, with my food allergies and all :-/ ), listening to each others' stories(very nice to hear them, especially, and finally in person!), and watching a short "tg-related" tv(pardon the unintentional pun) program, we all said our "goodbyes" and "until next times", and hugged everyone--including Andi(Andy)...and, although I thought "she's cute!" then, and earlier I enjoyed what she had to say during the group session talk, I didn't think too much else about our encounter. They were all sweet to me there, and it was especially nice that I was welcome there in the first place(Thank you, Rae!(head of the group)), being that, mostly, Tri-Ess is a group for crossdressers and sometimes their significant others, so of course I was thankful for that--even MUCH more so as time passed and what eventually happened. I also think I was just a bit overwhelmed by being there, and I don't mean that in any sort of negative way...just a lot to absorb, finally being with others of "like mind", in a group setting. Now, yes, it's true, I had been with transwomen before. When I went to see a good friend in Tennessee...a few days before, my wife said "she couldn't take living with you anymore(or something like that)...and by that time, I sorta knew we wouldn't be together. And, at the 2008 SCC conference and that was HUGE in my life(maybe I post, or re-post a blog I wrote not long after then about my time there, soon), so I did have experience being with others. And actually, that SCC experience was just my 2nd time out in the "world", with my first time in San Francisco in December of '07(another "re-post"! ;) ), and this meeting was my "4th time's a charm"--and it was! ;-) So anyway, that's how Andi and I met. Now for the rest(but not everything, no way! :D) of the story....

Well, the very next day, I received a short, but nice e-mail from Andi! I don't think she'll mind if I...here's what she said(it meant so much to me then..still does)

 "So great to meet you last night. Your hugs were delicious. You are so feminine and sweet. Having you at the group was a fantastic addition. Today is such a beautiful day, almost spring! I'm getting outdoors and putting up some screens to let in the fresh air. Look forward to hearing from you. --Andi"

 Well, as you can see, she was very happy to have met me! Likewise, too, but I think I also felt...well, I was just unsure, about a lot of things then, and also still in my "funk", but anyway I did also look forward to the next meeting. Our next group meeting was held on April 18th, 2009...which would have been my dad's 85th birthday...and, his passing in 2003 was, most definitely one of the main "triggers" that sent me on the road/journey that I am on now, but that's a whole other story. And this meeting went well also, and we all hugged and said "byes" and stuff.... and then, as we were walking out of the building, Andi asked me if I'd like to stop by her place on my way home(I lived 75 mile south then) for a drink and to talk some more. "Well sure, ok..." I said, and I felt, after hearing her talk in the meetings, and in a few personal conversations, that I could trust her...never know about some girls! ;-) After a sort drive following Andi to her home, we went in, say down, and talked for quite awhile, maybe a couple of hours or so, and, "being me", I "let it all out"(again, I just felt a certain trustworthiness with her), telling more about my "transiness", and about my time with my former spouse(maybe too much...I apologized for that, she said "no worries"), and crying quite often during those couple of hours...sigh sigh. Andi was also relating more about herself, her transgender side, and the "other" side too. And, well, I guess, telling all these things, and sitting close....well, I certainly won't go into detail here what happened next, but lets just say that I didn't leave her home until the next afternoon. ;-) We liked each other, and it was a beautiful time, and ever since then, I have cared for Andi...and Andy, and yes, eventually I fell in love with her too. It's, well, hard to explain, exactly how I felt....it was love, yes, no doubt about it...but, it was "different" too, from the love I felt for my former spouse...both good, great feelings and experiences, and both have given me the best times of my life so far...but hey, whatever the "difference" was, is, it's all good! 

Soooo....it wasn't long before I started to visit Andi more often, going up on weekends, sometimes she'd travel down to visit me, but more the former. All of this was new, for the both of us, being in transgender relationship, and although you may be imagining how "wild" it may have been...yes, we had our "moments" ;-)....but really, it was like a "normal" relationship(really!), and one of the best things, maybe THE best thing, for me, was that I could be totally honest with Andi, about my transgender side, or about anything really, which was a first for me, and her also. Plus yes, we did have some things in common, including our love of music(and some similar tastes), and comedy(tv shows, movies and such), gardening, sports, the news,(yes, the weather too :-p), other things...and of course, trans-related things. I just felt a great comfort with Andi, and I am SO thankful for that. And well....we were becoming quite close, and with the house I lived in practically my whole life(another blog!) up for sale during much of our relationship(this was in 2009), and thinking about where I would live, just in case it sold, we went over the idea of me moving in with her, and in mid-November my former spouse and I received a deal "we couldn't refuse"(pretty much true--long story, and NOT blogworthy, blah), so now with it being sold, I had a month to get it all ready to leave--cleaning, packing, all that stuff...SO many emotions going on then also, since this was our(Betty and mine) home together for many years...and all those years before we met...thinking of my mom and dad(both deceased by then), and my brother, and all the great times I'd had there...and now, finally moving away, and moving to a new town, with Andie....whew, that was a "crazy" time.; And also during that time, I planned a trip to go to California, over the Holidays, to visit my brother and sister-in-law, but also as a "scouting trip", since I was thinking of someday moving out there...here....and also to meet some good friends I'd made online over the years. On December 18th, I moved away...and to my new home, in Springfield, IL, about 75 miles north. Of course, Andi welcomed me with open arms! Not so sure she welcomed all of my "schtuff"--thank goodness she had a basement! So, on the 22nd, I flew out to Cali...had good times, with family and friends, and my time there definitely made me think more about moving there...but that was still down the road a bit. I got back "home", my new home, on Dec. 31st(just 4 hours before midnight!), and I was very happy to be there. :-)